SHALLOW THOUGHTS FROM THE DEEP END WITH MISS JULIE’S POOL BOY:

As I pour the 2nd of my self imposed daily limit of 2 cups of coffee at 5:57 AM, effortlessly ignoring the fact that my favorite cup holds 28 ounces, we step into Mr. Peabody’s(*) way back machine to Thursday, December 6, 1984. On Friday the 7th, a semester final would be given in room 207 of Maclellan Gymnasium. I had spent 15 weeks smitten with a member of Pi Beta Phi, so smitten I used exactly none of my allowed 4 absences. Fifteen Mondays, Wednesdays, & Fridays at 8AM, walking under a banner hailing the 1977 NCAA D2 hoop natty, hoping the seat in front of me would hold Pi Phi’s finest. Fifteen weeks of walking halfway up the hill by Chamberlain Field after class, turning left to the library as the sorority girl yet to become Miss Julie continued up toward her 9AM class in Hunter Hall & now time was dwindling so I pushed all my chips to the middle of the table in an all in move to get out of the friend zone & asked if she wanted to go over notes for the test. I don’t recall what I made on the final but I drew an inside straight at romance’s poker table, a good night kiss, a Friday night date & that butterflies in the stomach feeling as I walked into Big Mac’s room 207 for the final & outta’ the friend zone for destinations unknown. After Spring Break ’85, she told me it was her or the pinch of Skoal between my cheek & gum & I’m sure I’ve given her occasional cause to regret my decision since we took our vows in the church that overlooks the pool boy’s working environment in October of ’86. Losing the dip can ring silhouette in the back pocket of my Levi 501s was a profound decision, leading to solid, enjoyable, & rewarding roles as a thespian in my 1 man, 1 act play, “Born – Expired, Whatcha’ Doin’ with the Dash?”, among them, Miss Julie’s Pool Boy…

(*)For the youths, consuming this over on the Insta, Mr. Peabody was part of a cartoon featuring a talking moose named Bullwinkle & sidekick Rocky the Flying Squirrel & sometimes an inept yet heroic Canadian Mountie, add a bowl of Frosted Flakes & I’ll put my Saturday morning against yours anytime…