40 YEARS, EXITING THE FRIEND ZONE, SHALLOW THOUGHTS FROM THE DEEP END WITH MISS JULIE’S POOL BOY: As MJPB pours the 2nd of his self imposed daily limit of 2 cups of coffee at 5:43 AM, effortlessly ignoring the fact that his favorite cup holds 28 ounces, we step into Mr. Peabody’s(*) way back machine to Thursday, December 6, 1984. The next day, a semester final would be given in Maclellan Gym’s room 207. He had spent 15 weeks that fall so smitten with a member of Pi Beta Phi he used zero of 4 allowed absences, 15 Mondays, Wednesdays, & Fridays at 8AM, walking under a banner hailing the 1977 NCAA D2 hoop natty, hoping the seat in front of him would hold Pi Phi’s finest, 15 weeks of walking halfway up the hill by Chamberlain Field after class, turning left to the library as the sorority girl yet to become Miss Julie continued toward her 9AM Hunter Hall English Lit class & now time was dwindling so Pool Boy pushed all his chips to the middle, an all in move to get out of the friend zone & asked if she wanted to go over notes for the exam. MJPB can’t recall what he made on the final but he won the hand at romance’s table with a good night kiss, a Friday night date & eagle sized butterflies in the stomach as he walked into Big Mac’s room 207 for a final & outta’ the friend zone for destinations unknown. After Spring Break ’85, Miss Julie told him it was her or the Skoal between his cheek & gum & MJPB has given her occasional cause to regret his decision since vows were made in the church that overlooks Pool Boy’s working environment in October ’86. Losing the dip cans ringed silhouette in the back pocket of his Levi 501s was a profound decision, turning the suspect into prospect with leading roles as a thespian in the Pool Boy’s 1 man, 1 act play, “Born – Expired, Whatcha’ Doin’ with the Dash?”, like Dad, Papa, & Miss Julie’s Pool Boy…
(*)For the uninitiated consuming over all social media platforms, Mr. Peabody was part of a cartoon featuring Bullwinkle the talking moose, his sidekick Rocky the Flying Squirrel & an inept, yet heroic Royal Canadian Mountie, add the Super Friends & a bowl of Frosted Flakes & MJPB will put his Saturday morning against yours anytime…