LIFE ADVICE FROM OCTOBER, HOMECOMING 1976: 

      On the 26th day of October in 1976, it was Homecoming at a little school that now exists only in memories. This past week, as dementia opened another front in its dirty little war with my mom’s memory & our family, I thought about that chilly fall night & that place as a broken arm for my mom was the result of dementia’s Saturday salvo. 

      On Sunday, I talked with two friends after church, one looking to the uncertainty of the future. The other, after my expression of the manic depressive nature of my past October’s that I was taking next October off, revealed their past battles with another month.

       I suppose everyone has a go to, something to get them by. something to release the pressure of circumstances. For me, the go to as I expressed to another friend, is what I call the F Troop, faith, family, & friends. 

      Faith, the Sunday morning kind, the fourth figure in the fire kind, is the hardest to define. It’s based on a conviction of heart and/or spirit & proof isn’t always required which puzzles some when I express what turns me on.

       Friends & family are easier to quantify. There are people who are with you & people who aren’t. Sometimes those that shout “amen!” the loudest are the quietest when a crisis arrives. The quietest, they give you what you need, loudly, whether you want it or not. 

       In quiet hugs, a quiet arm over the shoulder, a loud voice to get your attention, a metaphorical boot to the backside. Actions & words that say, loudly, “I love you” & “ I’m here for you”.

       My dad got the following quote from a young man in his student ministry that went on to play college football & claim 2 national championships for a man called Bear. The young man got it from Coach Bryant who I reckon got it from God. Its paraphrased version goes:

“A crisis, no matter how great or small, will separate those around you into keepers & quitters.”

      Everyone has at least one place, a person or people, an event that welds or at at least keeps them tethered to what keeps them centered. That school that celebrated Homecoming 49 years ago, some of its people, some events provide some welding & some tethering for me.

      On that chilly October night, a little band of misfits, leftovers & outsiders were playing for the first winning season in years. That little band didn’t get there alone.

      Mom’s staffed a cold concession stand & dad’s announced & handled down & distance markers. All that & more so some boys with different last names & different skin could represent the Trojan family. Those boys still share an occasional family lunch because those mom’s & dad’s lived out Jesus reducing the 10 Commandments to the 2 powerful truths of love God first & love your neighbor as yourself. 

     That night, a 3rd commandment was added for me from our coach. He’s the guy sporting number 32 under a Tennessee Vols helmet, Paul Careathers. My personal Apostle Paul. 

      Early in the 3rd quarter, I made a mistake that snatched a 38-6 victory from the jaws of a shutout. Coach’s stare & silence were as chilly as that October night as I came to the sideline. I prepared to take the field after our opponents kickoff following my blunder. Coach threw his left arm over my shoulder, centered his right hand on the breastplate of my shoulder pads & the 5 on my jersey & gave me the next play. About 10 yards into my journey to the huddle, he gave me what I needed when he hollered, “hey”. I turned back to look at him & with a hand cupped on one side of his mouth he gave me a play for the game of life when he said, “don’t be a dumb@$$ this time.” Just his unique spin in a crisis of expressing, “I’m here for you”.

      As this planet sometimes seems to be spinning off its axis & as I get older & closer to a personal homecoming, I find two Commandments from a carpenter turned Messiah & another one from a football coach turned Apostle to be solid life advice…