SHALLOW THOUGHTS FROM THE DEEP END WITH MISS JULIE’S POOL BOY IN HIS P.E. OFFICE, 4 ½ days ‘til Christmas Break edition: This week, MJPB pondered a silent pool phone while side hustling in the physical education world. He pondered if the silence meant David Hasselhoff had finally accepted Miss Julie’s job offer.
     The Pool Boy also pondered some of his questionable life decisions. Decisions like his mixing of tumbling with dodge ball. A decision which pleasantly concluded with the soles of his stylish kicks properly aligned with the gym floor & a 3rd graders impressed & astonished interjection, “wow!”.
       Unpleasantly, the flip side of the kicks proper landing was our hero’s elbow slamming into his ribcage. A slamming that made breathing a 50/50 proposition over the following 48 hours.
       As the 1st semester approaches its final 4 ½ days, MJPB reflected on his additional duties of substitute teaching. A stint in which he was finally the tallest in 3rd & 5th grades though still not the smartest. During these classroom adventures, the Pool Boy discovered why he’s a P.E. teacher because English & Mathematics are confusing fields.
        Like English being difficult with homophones like aisle, isle, & I’ll (showing off as both a commitment & a contraction), the “g” in longevity being pronounced twice & the silent “s” at the end of Arkansas & Illinois & the quiet “c” in the middle of Connecticut messing with geography & both the “s” & “c” confounding us with which one is silent in “scent”…& there’s math.
       Between confusing everyone stating that “pie are square” when everyone knows pie are round & putting letters between the + & – & × & ÷ symbols mathematics then proves that 4 equal lines & 4 right angles, universally known as a square long before the Pool Boy earned his red flotation device, doesn’t necessarily have to be a box…